MY TYPE
The first time I heard someone say “she’s not my type,” I didn’t get it. Quite simply I was coming from the frame of one who saw women as a rare commodity. They were something I was mentally not confident or comfortable with. And of course not; I’ve had a rocky relationship with my mother and my sisters my entire life.
Last Friday I convinced a girl who had contacted me via Myspace to come over to my apartment at 3am. We had talked over the internet for a while and I was able to use some DHV routines and indifference to portray myself as a quality guy. But what about her? When she came over, I did not like her very much. One of the first things she did was look around the apartment and say “wow there are so many books here!” Then later while we were listening to my iTunes she complained that my music was “weird” and asked me to put on some hip-hop, which I didn’t (even though I have a little bit on my computer.) Long story short, I made out with her and sent her home at about 4am, disappointed with myself for having even kissed her.
I didn’t really like her. So what was it about myself that made me feel obligated to try and put the moves on this girl who I didn’t find super attractive and who’s personality was the least attractive part?
Over the last few days I’ve been telling the story of this girl to my AFC friends and my wing, and I had a breakthrough. By thinking about how WRONG she was for me, I was able to start thinking of what is really RIGHT for me.
That is, I’ve been approaching women from the perspective of they are a commodity and I am unlikely to find ones that I will really “click” with. So, I’ve tried to change myself over the years to be the man that they wanted in their life.
A recipe for failure marinated in incongruence.
I have been fortunate enough in my life to have known a few very special women whom I DID share a very strong connection with. There have been a small handful of girls who understood my sense of humor, who had goals I respected and a lifestyle that was attractive and similar to my own. I sat down and started writing a list of personality traits those special women in my life have had that I was very drawn to.
After making this list I was able to sit down and think of how I could indirectly find out if a girl meets my criteria.
So I’m going to write out some questions that will help me to screen, to see how much a girl is into me (by how she answers the questions) and help me write my own A3 and C1 material.
Thanks for reading,
Shambles
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Field reports
Field reports
Sticking points:
1. ejecting early
2. blitzing with extra material
3. knowing what phase I’m in
4. remembering to kino and to neg the target
tonight:
1. reached the hook point fairly consistently.
2. was closed by an hb8, but still in a2 so most likely a flake.
3. much less AA and ease of talking to people.
4. tried setting up sets to re-open later, but never re-opened (d’oh)
5. tried some new DHV’s with wing.
Stuff that is working:
1. jealous girlfriend is a great conversational opener.
2. the angle of the approach has been working better
3. standing at the bar and opening sets that come to order a drink
4. 1. jealous girlfriend, 2. best friends 3. ring finger 4. dog jaw 5. black mirror (wing)
field reports
1. (Beauty Bar) I tried going solo to the beauty bar. Totally dead. Got a manicure since they offer them and gamed the manicurist. Told her ring finger, talked about travel, dhv stories, etc. At the end she commented how much she liked my cufflinks. Caught her staring at me after I left. She was intrigued.
2. (max fish) Opened a 2 set and exited early though I could have stayed. Opened w/ cufflinks, then Best Friends test, then ejected.
3. (Pianos) Opened a 2 set with Fart opener, then into Best Friends test, ejected with intentions of re-opening later.
4. (Pianos) opened a 4 set from the bar upstairs w/ jealous girlfriend, then ring finger, then dog jaw, then black mirror. She closed me herself but later I found she gave me her email. I projected too much excitement when she closed me on her way out, and caused a number to change to an email probably. Still, 1st official close.
5. (pianos) wing opened a 4 set, I took obstacle and we successfully ran black mirror. Incredibly powerful DHV. Then I told BERLIN DHV story to obstacle, and did DOGJAW on wing’s target. I had HUGE attraction from the wing’s target for the rest of the night.
6. (pianos) opened a 2 set of girls with jealous girlfriend, was going to move into best friends test but they turned out to be lesbians. Decided to stay an extra 5 min. Negged short black haired French girl. Told DHV BERLIN story, ran ring finger routine, made small talk. Very much had the hook point. Wing came at a bad time and I didn’t get to introduce him to the set. in retrospect: I should have gotten the wing in there and ran black mirror on those girls. Also, the fact that I stayed around after they said they were lesbians let their guard down considerably. I see the value of the “if I wasn’t gay you’d so be my type” line now, if I ever have the balls to try it.
Three days of sarging in a row is the most I’ve ever done. I definitely have some momentum going now. I can reach the hook point, next in line I will continue to strengthen that part and eat away at my sticking point of ejecting too early…then I will focus on paying attention to 3 IOI’s so I can move from A2 to A3.
Will have to think of some good BHRR stuff though.
Having tons of fun, my wing is great, everything is awesome.
Sticking points:
1. ejecting early
2. blitzing with extra material
3. knowing what phase I’m in
4. remembering to kino and to neg the target
tonight:
1. reached the hook point fairly consistently.
2. was closed by an hb8, but still in a2 so most likely a flake.
3. much less AA and ease of talking to people.
4. tried setting up sets to re-open later, but never re-opened (d’oh)
5. tried some new DHV’s with wing.
Stuff that is working:
1. jealous girlfriend is a great conversational opener.
2. the angle of the approach has been working better
3. standing at the bar and opening sets that come to order a drink
4. 1. jealous girlfriend, 2. best friends 3. ring finger 4. dog jaw 5. black mirror (wing)
field reports
1. (Beauty Bar) I tried going solo to the beauty bar. Totally dead. Got a manicure since they offer them and gamed the manicurist. Told her ring finger, talked about travel, dhv stories, etc. At the end she commented how much she liked my cufflinks. Caught her staring at me after I left. She was intrigued.
2. (max fish) Opened a 2 set and exited early though I could have stayed. Opened w/ cufflinks, then Best Friends test, then ejected.
3. (Pianos) Opened a 2 set with Fart opener, then into Best Friends test, ejected with intentions of re-opening later.
4. (Pianos) opened a 4 set from the bar upstairs w/ jealous girlfriend, then ring finger, then dog jaw, then black mirror. She closed me herself but later I found she gave me her email. I projected too much excitement when she closed me on her way out, and caused a number to change to an email probably. Still, 1st official close.
5. (pianos) wing opened a 4 set, I took obstacle and we successfully ran black mirror. Incredibly powerful DHV. Then I told BERLIN DHV story to obstacle, and did DOGJAW on wing’s target. I had HUGE attraction from the wing’s target for the rest of the night.
6. (pianos) opened a 2 set of girls with jealous girlfriend, was going to move into best friends test but they turned out to be lesbians. Decided to stay an extra 5 min. Negged short black haired French girl. Told DHV BERLIN story, ran ring finger routine, made small talk. Very much had the hook point. Wing came at a bad time and I didn’t get to introduce him to the set. in retrospect: I should have gotten the wing in there and ran black mirror on those girls. Also, the fact that I stayed around after they said they were lesbians let their guard down considerably. I see the value of the “if I wasn’t gay you’d so be my type” line now, if I ever have the balls to try it.
Three days of sarging in a row is the most I’ve ever done. I definitely have some momentum going now. I can reach the hook point, next in line I will continue to strengthen that part and eat away at my sticking point of ejecting too early…then I will focus on paying attention to 3 IOI’s so I can move from A2 to A3.
Will have to think of some good BHRR stuff though.
Having tons of fun, my wing is great, everything is awesome.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
field reports
Sticking points:
1. Opening and then leaving before reaching a hook point
2. running out of material or not thinking of material
3. losing attraction or waning attraction
4. getting the whole group in on the discussion
tonight:
1. opened a soft four set 9.5 with cufflinks opener
2. got good results from “fart” opener
a. sometimes forgetting to do a false time constraint
b. forgetting to neg “we’re definitely not going to get along”
Stuff that is working:
1. “fart” opener is good for high-energy mixed sets
2. Berlin DHV story
3. Ring Finger DHV
a. I’ve noticed that I don’t always get through the ring finger DHV before interest wanes. Worked once really well one-on-one though
Follow-up routines:
Best Friends Test
C’s vs. U’s (never tested it)
Guess a #
Field reports:
1. Max Fish: Major AA. I approach a 2 set and don’t come off like I’m not hitting on them. They’re laughing at the situation as it’s obvious I’m hitting on them. Tried to play with that a bit then move into ring finger but failed. There is hope in the hopelessness of the situation if I embrace the failure.
2. Pianos: I open a single-set with situational opener. “Are those yours?” while waiting for a drink. “yes,” “you might have a problem.” I look away and order my beer, she and I make some small talk. I ask about her wrist bands, they’re for her hair. I say “I think your hair would look better ‘up.’ Then I pull her back in with “oh come on now it looks nice don’t be so sensitive.” She’s old, but hb 7. Do ring finger. She likes it—doesn’t wear rings, I cold read that she is very closed off then tell her that I like her hair better down after all—I think this is where I lost her on complimenting. Never really reached A3.
3. pianos: I attempt to open a 2 set at the bar, obstacle not interested in talking to me, Steve comes up so I bail on the opener even though target seemed like she wanted to talk. Obstacle’s boyfriend comes over so target re-opens me asking about little sister opener. I neg: “she’s used to getting her way, isn’t she?” I kino her shoulder talking about the shirt, notice her ring on her ring finger and run ring finger routine, turns out to be an heirloom, she gushes, I have massive kino build-up in this. Wing exits, things are going well, I am not sure where to go, so ask where she’s from. Interest wanes suddenly and without warning she says “well it was a pleasure meeting you and goes away. I should have done a false takeaway –or- moved directly into a joke like DOGJAW or RATRACE or something to balance the serious moment. I think I am projecting interest somehow
4. pianos: I open a 3 set of two guys one girl at the bar with FART opener. Guys love it, I accuse the girl of farting. Needs work. I exit when it seems they are about to leave.
5. pianos: With high energy I attempt to open with “toss the salad” opinion opener. Crash and burn.
6. pianos: I open with cufflinks opener on a two set. Hb9.5 shows strong interest, asks where I got the cufflinks from, I say “my girlfriend got them for me.” Good disqualifier for the particular girl. Before I move into other material an interrupt comes and takes her away. Should have shot out another opener in that situation. Steve said I should never stop talking “hey ladies the conversation is over here, remember?” or…C’s vs. U’s perhaps. Use routines that tell them about themselves to reach a hook point. Good that I didn’t pursue her when she left.
7. Max Fish: I interrupt an alpha to open a 3 set with FART opener, girls laugh and love it, peeved guy refuses to answer the question. Finally I get an answer out of him, he doesn’t want me there. I ignore him and move to best friends test. AMOG turns and hugs me with enthusiasm “oh man I didn’t like you before but now I love you…’best friends test’ so funny!” I combat the AMOG while I can but the target turns away and I decide to make a friend out of the AMOG and am unable to win the group back. In future I should start with “hey man I’m not gay get your hands offa me! Haha” and use alpha body language techniques on him.
1. Opening and then leaving before reaching a hook point
2. running out of material or not thinking of material
3. losing attraction or waning attraction
4. getting the whole group in on the discussion
tonight:
1. opened a soft four set 9.5 with cufflinks opener
2. got good results from “fart” opener
a. sometimes forgetting to do a false time constraint
b. forgetting to neg “we’re definitely not going to get along”
Stuff that is working:
1. “fart” opener is good for high-energy mixed sets
2. Berlin DHV story
3. Ring Finger DHV
a. I’ve noticed that I don’t always get through the ring finger DHV before interest wanes. Worked once really well one-on-one though
Follow-up routines:
Best Friends Test
C’s vs. U’s (never tested it)
Guess a #
Field reports:
1. Max Fish: Major AA. I approach a 2 set and don’t come off like I’m not hitting on them. They’re laughing at the situation as it’s obvious I’m hitting on them. Tried to play with that a bit then move into ring finger but failed. There is hope in the hopelessness of the situation if I embrace the failure.
2. Pianos: I open a single-set with situational opener. “Are those yours?” while waiting for a drink. “yes,” “you might have a problem.” I look away and order my beer, she and I make some small talk. I ask about her wrist bands, they’re for her hair. I say “I think your hair would look better ‘up.’ Then I pull her back in with “oh come on now it looks nice don’t be so sensitive.” She’s old, but hb 7. Do ring finger. She likes it—doesn’t wear rings, I cold read that she is very closed off then tell her that I like her hair better down after all—I think this is where I lost her on complimenting. Never really reached A3.
3. pianos: I attempt to open a 2 set at the bar, obstacle not interested in talking to me, Steve comes up so I bail on the opener even though target seemed like she wanted to talk. Obstacle’s boyfriend comes over so target re-opens me asking about little sister opener. I neg: “she’s used to getting her way, isn’t she?” I kino her shoulder talking about the shirt, notice her ring on her ring finger and run ring finger routine, turns out to be an heirloom, she gushes, I have massive kino build-up in this. Wing exits, things are going well, I am not sure where to go, so ask where she’s from. Interest wanes suddenly and without warning she says “well it was a pleasure meeting you and goes away. I should have done a false takeaway –or- moved directly into a joke like DOGJAW or RATRACE or something to balance the serious moment. I think I am projecting interest somehow
4. pianos: I open a 3 set of two guys one girl at the bar with FART opener. Guys love it, I accuse the girl of farting. Needs work. I exit when it seems they are about to leave.
5. pianos: With high energy I attempt to open with “toss the salad” opinion opener. Crash and burn.
6. pianos: I open with cufflinks opener on a two set. Hb9.5 shows strong interest, asks where I got the cufflinks from, I say “my girlfriend got them for me.” Good disqualifier for the particular girl. Before I move into other material an interrupt comes and takes her away. Should have shot out another opener in that situation. Steve said I should never stop talking “hey ladies the conversation is over here, remember?” or…C’s vs. U’s perhaps. Use routines that tell them about themselves to reach a hook point. Good that I didn’t pursue her when she left.
7. Max Fish: I interrupt an alpha to open a 3 set with FART opener, girls laugh and love it, peeved guy refuses to answer the question. Finally I get an answer out of him, he doesn’t want me there. I ignore him and move to best friends test. AMOG turns and hugs me with enthusiasm “oh man I didn’t like you before but now I love you…’best friends test’ so funny!” I combat the AMOG while I can but the target turns away and I decide to make a friend out of the AMOG and am unable to win the group back. In future I should start with “hey man I’m not gay get your hands offa me! Haha” and use alpha body language techniques on him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)