My type of girl

MY TYPE
The first time I heard someone say “she’s not my type,” I didn’t get it. Quite simply I was coming from the frame of one who saw women as a rare commodity. They were something I was mentally not confident or comfortable with. And of course not; I’ve had a rocky relationship with my mother and my sisters my entire life.

Last Friday I convinced a girl who had contacted me via Myspace to come over to my apartment at 3am. We had talked over the internet for a while and I was able to use some DHV routines and indifference to portray myself as a quality guy. But what about her? When she came over, I did not like her very much. One of the first things she did was look around the apartment and say “wow there are so many books here!” Then later while we were listening to my iTunes she complained that my music was “weird” and asked me to put on some hip-hop, which I didn’t (even though I have a little bit on my computer.) Long story short, I made out with her and sent her home at about 4am, disappointed with myself for having even kissed her.

I didn’t really like her. So what was it about myself that made me feel obligated to try and put the moves on this girl who I didn’t find super attractive and who’s personality was the least attractive part?

Over the last few days I’ve been telling the story of this girl to my AFC friends and my wing, and I had a breakthrough. By thinking about how WRONG she was for me, I was able to start thinking of what is really RIGHT for me.

That is, I’ve been approaching women from the perspective of they are a commodity and I am unlikely to find ones that I will really “click” with. So, I’ve tried to change myself over the years to be the man that they wanted in their life.

A recipe for failure marinated in incongruence.

I have been fortunate enough in my life to have known a few very special women whom I DID share a very strong connection with. There have been a small handful of girls who understood my sense of humor, who had goals I respected and a lifestyle that was attractive and similar to my own. I sat down and started writing a list of personality traits those special women in my life have had that I was very drawn to.

After making this list I was able to sit down and think of how I could indirectly find out if a girl meets my criteria.

So I’m going to write out some questions that will help me to screen, to see how much a girl is into me (by how she answers the questions) and help me write my own A3 and C1 material.

Thanks for reading,


Shambles