Last night was my first time “officially” sarging, here in NYC. I had gotten in contact with a couple of guys on the MM forum and luckily one of them was generous enough to take a newbie out on the town.
When Steve arrived at the bar we were to meet at, he asked me if I had my one opener and neg memorized. I said that I had made up an opener for tonight. He was skeptical, but after I tried it on him, he convinced me to use a canned one. I’ve been deathly afraid of using canned material for the reason of possibly being found out, but I ended up going for the jealous girlfriend because it’s the first one that came to mind.
Then Steve proceeded to thrust me into sets. I watched him work one or two at the beginning, but then afterwards it was pretty much him coaching me along.
Two things I found out about sarging: 1: no one really ever has heard the openers already, or if so they don’t say they have (one girl actually did say “how weird a guy asked me that same question at a party about a month ago!” to which I responded “oh good so what did you tell him?”) And 2. getting blown out of a set isn’t that big of a deal, actually it’s nothing compared to approach anxiety, which is ironic because that’s where it comes from.
On a day where I just came to the bar to drink I would have done a little bit better I think, just stumbling through sets, but because of repetition I noticed right away I was seeing patterns in their responses and that I was stone-cold sober which was new for me in terms of picking up girls. That is a breakthrough.
So, in brief, sticking points I noted were that I needed to have more canned material, learn how to neg properly (apparently sometimes I flat-out insult), and not be afraid to ad-lib when I get stuck and try to keep the set. I approached probably about 20 sets last night at various clubs, but there were probably only two or three where I felt like I really learned something, and those were the ones where I wanted to leave but PUA Steve kept saying “keep going” or “say something else” to me.
I've taken the Pepsi challenge.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
The Wonder Years
Last week was crazy.
It started on Monday night dollar beers with my buddies, which of late has featured me, front and center, excitedly waving my arms around and telling my buddies about The Game, then after consuming x number of beers or other alcoholic beverages having the courage to “prove” to my buddies that all this shit really does work.
I had fun bouncing around the bar, introducing myself to the more attractive ladies and flirting for a bit with them and their friends, a drunken grin plastered across my face. It was easy here, all the guys were total AFC’s, and where I’m admittedly the same, being aware of such things automatically gives you an edge.
I spotted a beautiful girl sitting with a frumpy looking friend wearing Winnie Cooper glasses. One by one I saw guys come right up to the beautiful girl and start talking, ignoring her friend. A couple of them would actually introduce themselves to the friend then turn almost immediately to the beautiful one and start talking. I decided to make the beautiful girl into my target.
By the time I decided to approach her Winnie Cooper, the target had six AFC’s sitting around her in a semi-circle. It looked like a live taping of elimidate. I walked up to the obstacle and commented how her glasses reminded me of Winnie Cooper. She squealed with delight. While from afar she didn't appear very attractive, up close she was surprisingly pretty. I asked her about her nose ring and tattoos and said a few things to get her to laugh, and like clockwork the target came up to see what we were laughing about. I used an opinion opener on the two of them about ladies’ underwear that I read on a forum somewhere. It was bullshit, they knew it was bullshit, but it came from that silly flirting place so they loved it and we laughed for a bit. Then something strange happened—when I was going to go into another silly opener, I suddenly realized my affections had changed—I wasn’t interested in the target anymore, I suddenly became interested Winnie. Something about her, I didn’t know what it was, struck me in the heart and I felt like I saw straight through her. I kept talking to her and the fomer target wandered away when she realized I wasn’t as interested in talking to her.
Winnie had low self-esteem. Behind those nerdy glasses, I could see this cute 21 year-old had a shortage of positive feelings about herself. And so I gave her some. I became very honest (in a way where I would have been blown out by almost anyone else in the world), and started telling her how great she was, how I felt a really strong connection to her, and how I came over to talk to her friend and decided she was too interesting to leave. I meant every word and she was almost moved to tears. It was strange, but felt really good. I excused myself and went back to find my buddies and flirt with other girls, knowing this girl was in the bag.
As the night progressed, the guys multiplied like a tumor, until the point where every girl had several guys hovering around them. I decided I was done wanted to leave. I went up to Winnie where some AFC at the bar was writing her poetry. He was visibly annoyed that I interrupted him.
“give me your phone number, I’m going to see you again.” I said, right in front of the guy.
She grabbed a napkin and wrote her number on it. I took it, walked out, and just before dipping into the subway, texted her “Hey Winnie Cooper, this is Kevin Arnold.”
The next morning I got a text from her that read “You’re so awesome!!!”
I felt good about that night, but decided maybe she’s too young or not experienced enough—I decided I shouldn’t sleep with this girl.
But then at 12:30AM the next evening I received a text message: “hey, want to come over?” Not-so-innocent it seems.
I told her I needed my beauty sleep, which was hard, considering I’m a guy and prone to oneitis. But I couldn’t get this chick out of my head. I was so into her but couldn’t figure out why.
Thursday night was our day two. I took her to a friend’s art opening in Manhattan. We drank some wine, she was very nervous, but I tried my best to be the calm center of the universe so that she would follow my lead. It was tough, but I did a decent job. Later that night we were to meet up with some buddies of mine at a bar and drink for a bit. I kept saying I had to leave soon because I had work in the morning.
When it came time to leave the bar, she asked me up front “do you want to spend the night?”
I carefully weighed my options and decided to go home with her. I said goodnight to my buddies, who seemed happy for me.
She was drunk, I was drunk. Together we fell down together on the deflated air mattress she called a bed and made out in the dark. She had a great body and a pretty face, just a poor sense of fashion.
At a certain point in the making out she said “I’m on the rag.” So romantic. I replied while laughing “I wasn’t going to have sex with you anyway.” And continued to kiss her, slightly annoyed at myself for not having said it first.
We melted into each others arms and fell asleep without any difficulty. It was at this point when all the signs finally clicked and I knew why we were so drawn to one-another. Like my previous girlfriend and every other girl I’d had oneitis for, she was a raging alcoholic.
In the morning I got up, took a shower and kissed her goodbye. My head was spinning with conflicting emotions. I liked this girl a lot—but for the wrong reasons. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being in relationships with alcoholics (even ones in recovery), they’ll hurt you. If there’s another thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t help them. I tried to push her out of my head and just focus on having fun in the moment. This girl is trouble, and besides I’m trying to get into sarging so that I can choose healthier girls for me.
I was a bit down the following couple of days, until Saturday when she had invited me to a party. I waited around with my buddy and we finally got directions to where it was at (I felt like a tool for waiting around but whatever). When I got to the party, it took a while but I found her in the back. Some douche was hitting on her pretty hard. She seemed cleaned-up, more girlie, very attractive (not just to my eyes). When I came up to her, there was a sense of awkwardness that I didn’t expect as she gave me a curt "how's it going?"
Because I’ve been in this situation before, I knew exactly what was going on. I tried my best to shut it out and have a good evening anyway, going around and introducing myself to people at the party, using a few openers here and there, but I wasn’t able to get it out of my head completely. When I decided to leave, I went up to her and took her hand and looked her in the eye and said goodnight. In that moment she squeezed my hand and her eyes pierced me again and I felt that electric connection that I had felt before, and understood that tonight she was going home with someone else.
The next day I phoned her and cut it off, feeling that it would be better to be the one to say something and end it than to passively leave it alone and let it eat at me. "It’s just practice", I told myself, realizing that there will be other girls who are better for me, also acknowledging my own susceptibility to troubled girls.
While I know I’ve still got a long way to go, I’m extremely grateful for what I’ve learned in my very limited study pickup. In the past I would have angrily pursued that girl for weeks, months or even years trying to gain affection from someone who wasn’t fully capable of doing so, or at best I would have stopped contacting her and kept a feeling of resentment inside for not having the balls to stand up for myself and say something.
It started on Monday night dollar beers with my buddies, which of late has featured me, front and center, excitedly waving my arms around and telling my buddies about The Game, then after consuming x number of beers or other alcoholic beverages having the courage to “prove” to my buddies that all this shit really does work.
I had fun bouncing around the bar, introducing myself to the more attractive ladies and flirting for a bit with them and their friends, a drunken grin plastered across my face. It was easy here, all the guys were total AFC’s, and where I’m admittedly the same, being aware of such things automatically gives you an edge.
I spotted a beautiful girl sitting with a frumpy looking friend wearing Winnie Cooper glasses. One by one I saw guys come right up to the beautiful girl and start talking, ignoring her friend. A couple of them would actually introduce themselves to the friend then turn almost immediately to the beautiful one and start talking. I decided to make the beautiful girl into my target.
By the time I decided to approach her Winnie Cooper, the target had six AFC’s sitting around her in a semi-circle. It looked like a live taping of elimidate. I walked up to the obstacle and commented how her glasses reminded me of Winnie Cooper. She squealed with delight. While from afar she didn't appear very attractive, up close she was surprisingly pretty. I asked her about her nose ring and tattoos and said a few things to get her to laugh, and like clockwork the target came up to see what we were laughing about. I used an opinion opener on the two of them about ladies’ underwear that I read on a forum somewhere. It was bullshit, they knew it was bullshit, but it came from that silly flirting place so they loved it and we laughed for a bit. Then something strange happened—when I was going to go into another silly opener, I suddenly realized my affections had changed—I wasn’t interested in the target anymore, I suddenly became interested Winnie. Something about her, I didn’t know what it was, struck me in the heart and I felt like I saw straight through her. I kept talking to her and the fomer target wandered away when she realized I wasn’t as interested in talking to her.
Winnie had low self-esteem. Behind those nerdy glasses, I could see this cute 21 year-old had a shortage of positive feelings about herself. And so I gave her some. I became very honest (in a way where I would have been blown out by almost anyone else in the world), and started telling her how great she was, how I felt a really strong connection to her, and how I came over to talk to her friend and decided she was too interesting to leave. I meant every word and she was almost moved to tears. It was strange, but felt really good. I excused myself and went back to find my buddies and flirt with other girls, knowing this girl was in the bag.
As the night progressed, the guys multiplied like a tumor, until the point where every girl had several guys hovering around them. I decided I was done wanted to leave. I went up to Winnie where some AFC at the bar was writing her poetry. He was visibly annoyed that I interrupted him.
“give me your phone number, I’m going to see you again.” I said, right in front of the guy.
She grabbed a napkin and wrote her number on it. I took it, walked out, and just before dipping into the subway, texted her “Hey Winnie Cooper, this is Kevin Arnold.”
The next morning I got a text from her that read “You’re so awesome!!!”
I felt good about that night, but decided maybe she’s too young or not experienced enough—I decided I shouldn’t sleep with this girl.
But then at 12:30AM the next evening I received a text message: “hey, want to come over?” Not-so-innocent it seems.
I told her I needed my beauty sleep, which was hard, considering I’m a guy and prone to oneitis. But I couldn’t get this chick out of my head. I was so into her but couldn’t figure out why.
Thursday night was our day two. I took her to a friend’s art opening in Manhattan. We drank some wine, she was very nervous, but I tried my best to be the calm center of the universe so that she would follow my lead. It was tough, but I did a decent job. Later that night we were to meet up with some buddies of mine at a bar and drink for a bit. I kept saying I had to leave soon because I had work in the morning.
When it came time to leave the bar, she asked me up front “do you want to spend the night?”
I carefully weighed my options and decided to go home with her. I said goodnight to my buddies, who seemed happy for me.
She was drunk, I was drunk. Together we fell down together on the deflated air mattress she called a bed and made out in the dark. She had a great body and a pretty face, just a poor sense of fashion.
At a certain point in the making out she said “I’m on the rag.” So romantic. I replied while laughing “I wasn’t going to have sex with you anyway.” And continued to kiss her, slightly annoyed at myself for not having said it first.
We melted into each others arms and fell asleep without any difficulty. It was at this point when all the signs finally clicked and I knew why we were so drawn to one-another. Like my previous girlfriend and every other girl I’d had oneitis for, she was a raging alcoholic.
In the morning I got up, took a shower and kissed her goodbye. My head was spinning with conflicting emotions. I liked this girl a lot—but for the wrong reasons. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being in relationships with alcoholics (even ones in recovery), they’ll hurt you. If there’s another thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t help them. I tried to push her out of my head and just focus on having fun in the moment. This girl is trouble, and besides I’m trying to get into sarging so that I can choose healthier girls for me.
I was a bit down the following couple of days, until Saturday when she had invited me to a party. I waited around with my buddy and we finally got directions to where it was at (I felt like a tool for waiting around but whatever). When I got to the party, it took a while but I found her in the back. Some douche was hitting on her pretty hard. She seemed cleaned-up, more girlie, very attractive (not just to my eyes). When I came up to her, there was a sense of awkwardness that I didn’t expect as she gave me a curt "how's it going?"
Because I’ve been in this situation before, I knew exactly what was going on. I tried my best to shut it out and have a good evening anyway, going around and introducing myself to people at the party, using a few openers here and there, but I wasn’t able to get it out of my head completely. When I decided to leave, I went up to her and took her hand and looked her in the eye and said goodnight. In that moment she squeezed my hand and her eyes pierced me again and I felt that electric connection that I had felt before, and understood that tonight she was going home with someone else.
The next day I phoned her and cut it off, feeling that it would be better to be the one to say something and end it than to passively leave it alone and let it eat at me. "It’s just practice", I told myself, realizing that there will be other girls who are better for me, also acknowledging my own susceptibility to troubled girls.
While I know I’ve still got a long way to go, I’m extremely grateful for what I’ve learned in my very limited study pickup. In the past I would have angrily pursued that girl for weeks, months or even years trying to gain affection from someone who wasn’t fully capable of doing so, or at best I would have stopped contacting her and kept a feeling of resentment inside for not having the balls to stand up for myself and say something.
Saturday, December 9, 2006
you really like me???
So last night I went out with some buddies, had too much to drink and got my game on. One thing bothers me in retrospect that I haven’t had the courage to get past--I have too much approach anxiety for anyone over an HB7. There were only probably three girls at that bar that were in that range, an HB8, HB 8.5 and another 8. What’s wrong with me? I know the material! I thought to myself. I knew it works (in theory) but I’d have to practice putting it to work. This afternoon, I got to put some of it to use on a HB8.5.
I went to my favorite coffee shop. There’s a girl named Sandra there who’s not too cute but pretty interesting to talk to, so I thought I would stop by to say hello. I walked in, Sandra wasn’t there. The UG at the counter recognized me. I said “hi, I’ll be a minute…” and walked to the bathroom to wash my hands and face (paranoid of smelling like my 2 for $1 hotdog lunch—times are tight these days).
I come out, and I notice that the one HB that works at this coffee shop is sitting in the back. She’s an HB8.5 and my TARGET from here on out. I’ve never gotten her attention before, never found a way to get her to talk to me. I’d tried talking to her friends, being jovial and friendly with the counter girls, still, she’s never even looked in my direction. This time I was planning to use some chick crack as bait, though, and experiment with some soft game.
I shoot the shit with the UG for a few seconds and make a point not to look up at the TARGET, who’s reading a novel or something a good 10 feet away. “is Sandra in today?” I asked the UG. “no, she’s not in today…bla bla bla” etc. I pull out this book I got from the library. “oh, I wanted to show her something, I got this cool book from the library that uses your favorite colors as a personality test!”
Byt this point, I’ve been pretty friendly to the UG who has always been a bit on the unfriendly side, not a lot of people are nice or inquisitive to her. I can tell out of the corner of my eye that the TARGET notices that I’m winning her friend over. Talking about the personality test is too much for her, she comes over and sort of “cockblocks” the UG, which is so shockingly predictable that I didn’t see it coming.
TARGET – Ooh that’s so cool! I want to try!
She leans over the counter towards me, a smile beaming ear-to-ear. I’m not giving her IOI’s back.
In my mind I’m wondering how I can get the UG back in because I realize she’s the key to really getting the TARGET interested in me, but she seems to have conceded to the TARGET (she’s most definitely used to this sort of thing) However, I wasn’t fast enough so I went on doing the game with the TARGET. She picked violet or blue or something, I don’t really remember. Anyway, I turn to the page for her colors and start reading to her “you’re a hard worker…bla bla bla, etc..” It said in the book that she was “optimistic” and I turned to her then and said “you don’t seem optimistic at all to me.” She giggled-- weak neg but I guess it worked.
I tried to get back to the UG, read her colors and started giving personality reading, but because she was working she was walking away and I realized I didn’t project my voice loud enough and lost my authority. Anyway, the TARGET’s interest had waned a bit, and I excused myself before it got to zero. “Well, I have to get to reading this stuff now…”
I sat at an empty table and adjusted my body language to not appear to be addressing the ladies, then I start reading a book called Maximum Influence, which coincidentally reinforces everything I’ve been learning in Mystery Method and the Game. Eventually I got tired of reading and decided to leave, but I wanted to give another DHV and get some more conversation in before I left (its such a high when people are responding positively to you!!!)
I asked for a decaf coffee, UG said it’ll take 3 min, which I say is perfect, I have to get going soon anyway. The UG asked me what I was reading. I start telling her about the Maximum Influence book and how we dress and talk to people affects their ability to be influenced--basically I was telling her the principles of pick-up, but in the context of business networking instead.
Originally I wanted to try an opinion opener on them but couldn’t chickened out on using the canned material.
Anyway, I wasn’t sure the TARGET was going to talk to me anymore, but just then from across the counter she asks “What’s your name?” and I almost fell over from the shock of the IOI. I told her, and then took my coffee and shot the shit with the UG a bit more and then the TARGET came over and I asked if they knew where there was a Big 5 or a Guitar Center nearby so that I could pick up strings for my guitar and a chin-up bar. I smiled at them both, asked their names and then walked away.
Over all, I was amazed that I had actually gotten some attraction from a girl who I thought was really cute. While drinking I’ve never had problems getting the attention of the girls I wanted to talk to but I naturally gravitate towards 7’s and 6’s because they tend to be less bitchy to me. This was really eye-opening and I suddenly understood that its possible for me to attract a girl who before I would have written off as a bitch.
NEXT I have to think of ways to win over the guy who works at the coffee shop, because I’ve noticed that usually the TARGET is working with this one particular dude who’s highly likely to cockblock me. I don’t suspect that chick crack will work as well on him.
I went to my favorite coffee shop. There’s a girl named Sandra there who’s not too cute but pretty interesting to talk to, so I thought I would stop by to say hello. I walked in, Sandra wasn’t there. The UG at the counter recognized me. I said “hi, I’ll be a minute…” and walked to the bathroom to wash my hands and face (paranoid of smelling like my 2 for $1 hotdog lunch—times are tight these days).
I come out, and I notice that the one HB that works at this coffee shop is sitting in the back. She’s an HB8.5 and my TARGET from here on out. I’ve never gotten her attention before, never found a way to get her to talk to me. I’d tried talking to her friends, being jovial and friendly with the counter girls, still, she’s never even looked in my direction. This time I was planning to use some chick crack as bait, though, and experiment with some soft game.
I shoot the shit with the UG for a few seconds and make a point not to look up at the TARGET, who’s reading a novel or something a good 10 feet away. “is Sandra in today?” I asked the UG. “no, she’s not in today…bla bla bla” etc. I pull out this book I got from the library. “oh, I wanted to show her something, I got this cool book from the library that uses your favorite colors as a personality test!”
Byt this point, I’ve been pretty friendly to the UG who has always been a bit on the unfriendly side, not a lot of people are nice or inquisitive to her. I can tell out of the corner of my eye that the TARGET notices that I’m winning her friend over. Talking about the personality test is too much for her, she comes over and sort of “cockblocks” the UG, which is so shockingly predictable that I didn’t see it coming.
TARGET – Ooh that’s so cool! I want to try!
She leans over the counter towards me, a smile beaming ear-to-ear. I’m not giving her IOI’s back.
In my mind I’m wondering how I can get the UG back in because I realize she’s the key to really getting the TARGET interested in me, but she seems to have conceded to the TARGET (she’s most definitely used to this sort of thing) However, I wasn’t fast enough so I went on doing the game with the TARGET. She picked violet or blue or something, I don’t really remember. Anyway, I turn to the page for her colors and start reading to her “you’re a hard worker…bla bla bla, etc..” It said in the book that she was “optimistic” and I turned to her then and said “you don’t seem optimistic at all to me.” She giggled-- weak neg but I guess it worked.
I tried to get back to the UG, read her colors and started giving personality reading, but because she was working she was walking away and I realized I didn’t project my voice loud enough and lost my authority. Anyway, the TARGET’s interest had waned a bit, and I excused myself before it got to zero. “Well, I have to get to reading this stuff now…”
I sat at an empty table and adjusted my body language to not appear to be addressing the ladies, then I start reading a book called Maximum Influence, which coincidentally reinforces everything I’ve been learning in Mystery Method and the Game. Eventually I got tired of reading and decided to leave, but I wanted to give another DHV and get some more conversation in before I left (its such a high when people are responding positively to you!!!)
I asked for a decaf coffee, UG said it’ll take 3 min, which I say is perfect, I have to get going soon anyway. The UG asked me what I was reading. I start telling her about the Maximum Influence book and how we dress and talk to people affects their ability to be influenced--basically I was telling her the principles of pick-up, but in the context of business networking instead.
Originally I wanted to try an opinion opener on them but couldn’t chickened out on using the canned material.
Anyway, I wasn’t sure the TARGET was going to talk to me anymore, but just then from across the counter she asks “What’s your name?” and I almost fell over from the shock of the IOI. I told her, and then took my coffee and shot the shit with the UG a bit more and then the TARGET came over and I asked if they knew where there was a Big 5 or a Guitar Center nearby so that I could pick up strings for my guitar and a chin-up bar. I smiled at them both, asked their names and then walked away.
Over all, I was amazed that I had actually gotten some attraction from a girl who I thought was really cute. While drinking I’ve never had problems getting the attention of the girls I wanted to talk to but I naturally gravitate towards 7’s and 6’s because they tend to be less bitchy to me. This was really eye-opening and I suddenly understood that its possible for me to attract a girl who before I would have written off as a bitch.
NEXT I have to think of ways to win over the guy who works at the coffee shop, because I’ve noticed that usually the TARGET is working with this one particular dude who’s highly likely to cockblock me. I don’t suspect that chick crack will work as well on him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)