It’s good to notice that my sticking points are moving from one thing to another. At one point in time it was staying in the set; at another, it was number closing; more recently I bragged to Papa that I held the world-record for most screwed-up k-closes.
My problems of late have been higher-quality. Kissing isn’t an issue anymore; making out is less of one than it used to be. My recent sticking point is getting the girls home or on a D2, and escalating past making out. It’s not a bad one to have, considering it’s what’s right before getting laid with consistency.
That said, it’s about 8 months into the Game and I am yet to have my first lay from a cold-approach (though I’ve had a fair-share of opportunities).
Today I went on a LONG D2 with a girl I cold approached waaay back in April. It was my first really solid connection/set with another person. Also, she was my first D2 ever. It went okay, but at the time kissing was a huge issue, and I went for it but she said “No.” When I tried the Mister E kiss close gambit. She said to me as I was leaving her then “Call me.” But I was thinking “yeah right I’m not going to be this girl’s tool!!!” And so I didn’t.
Two months later I noticed she was in my phone and gave her a random text message. She said she had wondered what I’ve been up to.
Last time I saw this girl, I was with another D2 who I took by a bar HBAmanda and her friends were at, to socially proof myself to HBJapanese and HBAmanda at the same time.
I texted her today to have coffee with me, and we met up at Barnes & Noble at about 2pm. We walked to Wholefoods and she bought me a coffee because the machines were down. I talked about everything; the last few crazy adventures I’ve been on, my lady troubles with HBVanessa, everything. Just shooting the breeze. My goal was to come off as uninterested in her. It was difficult because she has a bangin’ body that I just want to put my hands all over.
After telling her about how RAD HBVanessa is, and about my dilemma with her, I said we should go for a walk. I was getting tired of the interaction and wasn’t sure how long I could go for, but decided to try to bounce her back to my place now that I’m living in the East Village.
We walked and talked and talked and talked and wandered into several stores, entertaining ourselves, looking at odd clothing merchandise, etc. Kino was very minimal, but present. I was still trying to be non-sexual with her.
Eventually we were looking for an internet café so I could check my email for a job I’m supposed to be doing (supposed to be doing it right now, actually). Anyway, I didn’t have a really good reason to get her to my place, other than I told myself I wasn’t going to do anything. At some point I said “we’re in my neighborhood! Come on, I have to drop off my bag, I’ll show you my place.”
I wanted her to walk upstairs in front of me so I could smack her ass, but no dice.
We walked around, I showed her some crazy clothes I have, she wanted to see drawings, etc. We were going to leave but it didn’t happen for some time. I sat down and played some guitar for her, then she tried to play some from me. Dude, playing music really IS money for chicks.
At some point for some reason no deeper than “I wanted to,” I picked her up caveman style and had her giggling. When I put her down her nipples were hard. Nice, I took that as an IOI. I’m not sure about what happened exactly next, but we were just chilling at my apartment and I pulled her hair and kissed her, we then did some light making out, and unfortunately she pushed off a nanosecond earlier than I did. I continued to talk to her like nothing had happened, very natural. Then she randomly says to me “That didn’t mean anything.”
She then asked if I would draw a picture of her.
I took her into my roommate’s room and got some paper and a pen, told her she had to draw me first. The whole time I was sitting there, all I could think was that I wanted to fuck her. Then it was my turn to draw her. I kissed her again at some point, I think I did it a few times. I loved it. I smacked her ass at some point and she said “ooh!”
She kept telling me I must have a lot of girls asking me to draw them all the time. I actually don’t, but somehow I convinced her to get down to her bra and panties to pose for me. I should have tried to get her nude. She was soooo turned on. I got her to pose with her ass in the air. I decided to act very serious about what I was doing even though I couldn’t concentrate. When I would act serious she would act sexual, and ask me stuff like:
HBAMANDA: What’s your favorite position?
ME: Well, the last girl I was with only wanted to be on top, which was boring and after we broke up it was the main reason I didn’t get back together with her.
HBAMANDA: I can only get off when I’m on top…. But I like to do other positions, too.
Dude, I wanted to mount her right there. I’m trying to find the right balance between cavemanning (just grabbing her when I want to and doing what I want to), and not being too aggressive. She took a break and I massaged her shoulders, and I turned her over and was kissing her and she was like “I’m not going to have sex with you,” Which I took as another IOI, but I stopped escalating for the time being. My calibration is still just a bit off to where the girls always cut me off at the pass with the LMR and ASD stuff.
I toned down my boner enough to draw for a while, it came out ok, and she put her clothes back on L. As she was putting her skirt back I wrapped my arms around her and said “That didn’t mean anything.” Boo-yah
Anyway, we eventually left the building and went for another walk. My eye was bothering me so we went to a Duane Reade and both got eye patches, then talked like pirates for the next hour. We finally went to the Apple Store to check my email, I had a job I have to do tonight.
She said some amazing things to me like “I feel like I can say anything around you.”
“you make me feel so comfortable”
“I feel like I’ve known you forever”
“I like you a lot—I don’t even care if you don’t like me.”
“I wrote four pages in my journal about the night I met you—and I never write in my journal”
Etc.
She also said at some point “we could never date.”
I replied “yes, once we started fucking we’d stop doing all this other fun stuff we do together because we’d be indoors together all the time. It can never happen.”
We walked all around the city, she’s taking some antibiotics for getting her wisdom teeth out recently so she can’t drink, though she just kept saying she wanted to get fucked up and do something “crazy.”
I tried to get her back to my place again but I didn’t push too hard because I was going to have to be up to work. I told her she should hang out in my apartment with me while I work but she said “only if you pay for my cab ride home to Astoria,” which would be like $25 so I said “no thanks.”
There was a little more kissing going on, but not really making out. She just recently got out of a 3 year relationship (like within the last week or two), so she’s in a strange emotional state, which I think is affecting how into the making out she’ll let herself be.
Anyway, I think I did a really good job of coming off as just a “friend” who has fuck-potential.
I looked her up that evening on facebook, then texted her to check it. She called me back 2 min. later at 1am and said “It’s too late to check facebook.” We chatted some more and I teased her about masturbating while talking to me on the phone. Dirty dirty girl.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Risk and Rewards
Hey there,
Since my turning of the tide post the other day, I have yet to really get everything done in a day I want to get done . Not so funny. Anyway, I really wanted to go sarging tonight but I decided that since it's become such a big part of my life--my obsession, that I need to make it into a reward for getting my other shit done rather than the center of which all other aspects of my life revolve.
That being said, I started re-reading the Power of Now. I want to work hard on entering into that state where I feel completely centered. One time, about a year and four months ago, i experienced it while I had been reading the book and trying to practice it's ideas for several weeks. I was walking down the street and all of a sudden I felt an intense feeling of joy overcome my body. It felt like being in love, but I wasn't in love. Ever since then, I've wanted it back. And now that I'm focused on sarging, I think it will really help my game to improve.
I had an interesting breakthrough today. I realized that the tormentor voice inside my head DOES exist, but is layered so deep that I didn't know it existed until today. The voice belongs to my ex girlfriend who I let break my heart a couple of years ago.
It's weird making that realization, but I've had dreams about her every month or two for the last year. We've been broken up for two. I don't talk to her. Anyway, now that I have identified that, I can start to work on eradicating the negative feelings associated with that person's memory. I'm pretty happy about it.
Anyway, back to work.
Shambles
Since my turning of the tide post the other day, I have yet to really get everything done in a day I want to get done . Not so funny. Anyway, I really wanted to go sarging tonight but I decided that since it's become such a big part of my life--my obsession, that I need to make it into a reward for getting my other shit done rather than the center of which all other aspects of my life revolve.
That being said, I started re-reading the Power of Now. I want to work hard on entering into that state where I feel completely centered. One time, about a year and four months ago, i experienced it while I had been reading the book and trying to practice it's ideas for several weeks. I was walking down the street and all of a sudden I felt an intense feeling of joy overcome my body. It felt like being in love, but I wasn't in love. Ever since then, I've wanted it back. And now that I'm focused on sarging, I think it will really help my game to improve.
I had an interesting breakthrough today. I realized that the tormentor voice inside my head DOES exist, but is layered so deep that I didn't know it existed until today. The voice belongs to my ex girlfriend who I let break my heart a couple of years ago.
It's weird making that realization, but I've had dreams about her every month or two for the last year. We've been broken up for two. I don't talk to her. Anyway, now that I have identified that, I can start to work on eradicating the negative feelings associated with that person's memory. I'm pretty happy about it.
Anyway, back to work.
Shambles
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
FR good days are a-comin
FR: Tuesday solo/winged
I took 5 steps forward today. :)
I went out to the MPD to meet with my wing Loren for a short while before he was off on a D2.
STREET: HB6
Opened: opinion opener.
Banter: do you work for Cosmo or something? J
She qualified herself to me, IOI.
She turned a corner and went the other way down the street about 35 seconds into the set.
I should have tried to bust into her world so she would’ve wanted to continue talking to me.
BAR 3-SET
Opened: opinion opener.
Wing entered a bit too early. Wing does good sort of takes over the set.
I kept thinking “I need to lock in!”
Ran ring finger. Not good bantering on my part. Obstacle gave me negative body language.
energy too low, never really broke into their world, therefore I never really “hooked. Should have tried BFT on two of the three, also a good opportunity to lock-in.
BAR WING’S SET
Short banter birthday girl 2 set. I did some good C&F on the target after a bit of floundering. (to wing) “OMG is she hitting on me?!?” BLUSH. “OMG she’s blushing!”
STREET: 2-SET
Opened: Opinion opener.
Busted lightly for them being “needy” based on opinion suggestions. Intro’d Wing. Kept thinking “how would I disqualify myself?”
would have been an easy bounce, the girls liked us and were cute (HB6 and HB8). Wing suggested I should have gone into BFT and then ran some more game on them. Next time
SOLO: PIANOS 2-Set
Opened: opinion.
BLOWN OUT
problem: bad approach angle, obstacle had to look over her shoulder. Also, energy too low going in
MAX FISH 2-SET
Opened: opinion
Interrupt: boyfriend
Tried to win over boyfriend, he was not very friendly, I was unable.
Did a mini-BFT that went over well.
Tried to guess their origins. Didn’t go well. Got IOI’s from the target and the obstacle. BF still not impressed.
Disqualified a couple of times to the target. Excused myself to bathroom to re-cap.
Planned to come back out and make friends with the BF, then do DHV story followed by 3WING circus.
Came back, BF gone. I say “I’m on my way out but let me show you something really quick”
Run WING3
BF re-interrupts.
Exit.
Ok, the reason I’m doing all this canned stuff lately is because I feel like I need to get the structure NAILED into my subconscious, so I know what to do wherever I’m at. So that I know what I need to pump into the interaction.
Lately I’ve been really sloppy, it’s like I had SO MUCH momentum and now it’s dissipated to a fraction of what I’m used to having. It feels like I’m starting over. Maybe I am. I’m on 80 approaches so far, though it would be safe to say the last 20 haven’t been hilights.
In all actuality, this is why I need to go out all the time, because 20 approaches equals 2 days if I’im out all the time.
Remember to work hard, I’m really stoked that I hit the milestone of doing a solo day sarge. Congrats to me!
I took 5 steps forward today. :)
I went out to the MPD to meet with my wing Loren for a short while before he was off on a D2.
STREET: HB6
Opened: opinion opener.
Banter: do you work for Cosmo or something? J
She qualified herself to me, IOI.
She turned a corner and went the other way down the street about 35 seconds into the set.
I should have tried to bust into her world so she would’ve wanted to continue talking to me.
BAR 3-SET
Opened: opinion opener.
Wing entered a bit too early. Wing does good sort of takes over the set.
I kept thinking “I need to lock in!”
Ran ring finger. Not good bantering on my part. Obstacle gave me negative body language.
energy too low, never really broke into their world, therefore I never really “hooked. Should have tried BFT on two of the three, also a good opportunity to lock-in.
BAR WING’S SET
Short banter birthday girl 2 set. I did some good C&F on the target after a bit of floundering. (to wing) “OMG is she hitting on me?!?” BLUSH. “OMG she’s blushing!”
STREET: 2-SET
Opened: Opinion opener.
Busted lightly for them being “needy” based on opinion suggestions. Intro’d Wing. Kept thinking “how would I disqualify myself?”
would have been an easy bounce, the girls liked us and were cute (HB6 and HB8). Wing suggested I should have gone into BFT and then ran some more game on them. Next time
SOLO: PIANOS 2-Set
Opened: opinion.
BLOWN OUT
problem: bad approach angle, obstacle had to look over her shoulder. Also, energy too low going in
MAX FISH 2-SET
Opened: opinion
Interrupt: boyfriend
Tried to win over boyfriend, he was not very friendly, I was unable.
Did a mini-BFT that went over well.
Tried to guess their origins. Didn’t go well. Got IOI’s from the target and the obstacle. BF still not impressed.
Disqualified a couple of times to the target. Excused myself to bathroom to re-cap.
Planned to come back out and make friends with the BF, then do DHV story followed by 3WING circus.
Came back, BF gone. I say “I’m on my way out but let me show you something really quick”
Run WING3
BF re-interrupts.
Exit.
Ok, the reason I’m doing all this canned stuff lately is because I feel like I need to get the structure NAILED into my subconscious, so I know what to do wherever I’m at. So that I know what I need to pump into the interaction.
Lately I’ve been really sloppy, it’s like I had SO MUCH momentum and now it’s dissipated to a fraction of what I’m used to having. It feels like I’m starting over. Maybe I am. I’m on 80 approaches so far, though it would be safe to say the last 20 haven’t been hilights.
In all actuality, this is why I need to go out all the time, because 20 approaches equals 2 days if I’im out all the time.
Remember to work hard, I’m really stoked that I hit the milestone of doing a solo day sarge. Congrats to me!
Monday, May 28, 2007
196 Pound Champ
I'm going to try to post daily with thoughts and progress on my life goals that were outlined in the previous post.
My big 1 year goals:
1) achieve great choice and success with women
2) have a graphic novel of my own original ideas published
3) learn salsa dancing
4) teach art in order to give back to people for all the awesome help I've been given over the years.
the plan is to post these goals along with progress reports every month, describing what I've done towards those goals.
Also, I'm going to post my weight, weekly, as the title of the article, so I will have something to reference up there. :)
My big 1 year goals:
1) achieve great choice and success with women
2) have a graphic novel of my own original ideas published
3) learn salsa dancing
4) teach art in order to give back to people for all the awesome help I've been given over the years.
the plan is to post these goals along with progress reports every month, describing what I've done towards those goals.
Also, I'm going to post my weight, weekly, as the title of the article, so I will have something to reference up there. :)
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Awakening the Giant Within pt. 2 NOTES
ANTHONY ROBBINS Awakening the Giant Within pt. 2
NOTES
Thomas Edison
THE POWER OF BELIEFS
1. you can form a belief about ANYTHING if you can find enough references to support it as true.
2. how to change a limiting or negative belief:
a. associate PAIN to the negative/limiting belief
b. associate PLEASURE to the new, empowering belief by finding reasons to support that it is true.
3. Conviction is something more than a belief—it represents something you are absolutely certain of. You do not allow yourself to see things in any other way.
STRATEGY FOR CHANGE
1. All true change takes place in an INSTANT, not slowly or over time.
2. N.A.C.: a process that links pleasure to good, pain to undesirable beliefs.
a. Two prerequisite beliefs for this to work:
i. 1. I CAN change RIGHT NOW.
ii. 2. Only I am responsible for my own change.
THE SIX STEPS TO LASTING CHANGE
1. I have to decide what I REALLY WANT, and what is preventing me from achieving it.
I want to change my attitudes and interactions with women in ways that will lead me to have great success with women of intelligence and beauty that I feel emotionally connected to. My own limiting beliefs and lack of understanding of female psychology are what are currently holding me back from my goal.
2. Gain leverage! Associate a massive, urgent DESIRE TO CHANGE. Get Motivated.
a. What will it cost me if I don’t change?
I’ll continue to suffer the pain and frustration of having limited choice over the women in my life, and constantly being at the mercy of the wants and desires of women.
b. What will it cost me in the future?
Knowing that I COULD have put in the time, effort, and hard work necessary to change my success with women BUD DID NOT will EAT AWAY AT MY SELF RESPECT and my faith in my own drive and passions.
c. What does it already cost me right now?
Frustration, supplication, lack of choice of a mate makes me stressed out because I know I could possibly be with people who match me better.
d. What positive things would this change bring me RIGHT NOW?
A rich, fulfilling social life, more self-confidence, and the momentum to achieve my other goals in life.
e. What will my friends and family think when I achieve this?
”He’s finally getting success with girls who are at his caliber of person”
f. What will I ultimately gain from this change?
A well-rounded, inspiring life that energizes both itself and the lives of those around me.
3. Change your living pattern.
a. Identify my current pattern.
b. How can I interrupt my current pattern?
c. What are some “state change devices” I can use?
d. Watch myself acting out the old pattern, but speed it up and view it as comical, as a cartoon to disassociate the reactive behavior pattern.
4. Create an ALTERNATIVE behavioral pattern.
a. What benefit did I gain from the other pattern?
b. What can I do to replace the benefit of the old pattern?
5. CONDITION the new behavior until it’s a habit.
a. Focus on the new pattern behavior with TREMENDOUS EMOTIONAL INTENSITY
b. Condition the new pattern through REPETITION/practice.
c. Get a SCHEDULE, and REWARD myself for taking steps toward my goal.
6. TEST the new pattern for effectiveness.
a. Is the new behavioral pattern giving me what I want?
b. Is the new behavioral pattern consistent with my values as a person?
c. Make sure the change will be LONG-TERM.
“We are what and where we are because we first imagined it.” –A. Robbins.
New Daily Affirmations:
1. I am a fit, healthy person who watches his diet carefully.
2. I have a great physique that I work hard to maintain.
3. I am careful and meticulous when dealing with money matters.
4. I am well-organized
5. I am great at understanding and relating to others.
6. I am naturally a social butterfly who LOVES talking to and meeting new people.
7. I am good at building emotional connections and mutual understandings with people.
Four One-Year Goals
1. To have great success and choice with women.
2. To have a graphic novel of my own original ideas & stories published.
3. To learn how to salsa dance
4. To start teaching others to help them achieve their goals and successes.
Thomas Edison
Pain Period
May 26, 2007
I’ve been feeling low-energy of late.
Last night, I sarged with my buddy Steve, and got to meet some other PUAs. At a certain point in the evening, I allowed myself to be affected by the outcome of my sarges.
I think the problem comes from expecting a level of success consistent with how I was doing all last week. It’s times like this I have to remember that I can’t hit a home run every time I com e to the plate. In fact, the one characteristic all the greats seem to share is that they bounce right back from slumps and lumps and fight through the “pain period.”
Thoughts on my FRAME:
1) I do my best when I remember that women are an abundance. That is to say, if I keep moving I’m going to find someone who I click with. And if not, it’s no big deal, there’s always another day.
2) Get into the mindset of only rewarding myself for meeting my stated goals. The only thing I should keep in mind is whether or not I’m doing them. Avoid “outcome dependency” at all costs, as it represents many contingencies that are out of my control.
3) Every reaction I get, every response is just feedback telling me how the interaction is going. Many factors are in my control, but many are out of my hands.
4) Be other-oriented. Try to help her and her friends to have a BETTER time than they would have otherwise. Also, don’t reward rudeness.
5) Continue to state goals and plow towards them. Nothing makes me happier than attempting a really hard set. Nothing makes me feel worse than avoiding a set because it looks difficult.
CRITIQUE OF YESTERDAY’S PERFORMANCE:
1) I allowed Approach Anxiety to get the best of me at the beginning of the night with that 2-set. My wing opened them. Next time, don’t hesitate. 3 second rule applies.
2) Have had difficulty allowing myself to plow forward when there is a little bit of turbulence.
3) I made a conscious effort to open some more difficult sets, which is good. Unfortunately I allowed the success of them to dictate my mood later on.
4) Didn’t remember to lock in on the majority of my sets.
5) Remembered disqualification for most of my sets, a small victory therein.
6) Chose targets, negged and teased.
FR: SETS IN BRIEF
HBTALL
Opened a 3-set with INTERNET DATING. Warm reception. Teased the target, tried to make friends with the obstacles. Target had a twin sister. “oh you’re the evil one!” and “geeze don’t you have any of your own friends?” Remembered mild kino, got mild IOI’s in return. Nothing too intense. Later, I re-opened and negged her posture. This was a pretty good neg. She had really high self-esteem, a high-quality HB8.
HBSHORTY
Opened a tall Russian girl with a situational opener. Noticed her very cute Russian friend. Disqualified with “too bad I’m gay or you’d so be my type!” Later, said I was going to marry her, then divorce her for her money. I neglected the obstacle too long, I think she wandered off. Should have clawed, plowed. I asked her to kiss me on the cheek, but she didn’t reciprocate. Next time I’ll know better than to supplicate like that. Hoops for hoops. (I think she probably lost all interest as soon as I kissed her on the cheek). Next time, remember to kino a LOT. Grab her hands, move her around.
HBROCKER
3-set of 30+ ladies. Lots of feisty attitude. Opened with internet dating. Remembered to lock in by sitting down. Never quite “hooked” the set. Asked to leave by alpha female before quite choosing a target. Good vibes despite blow-out.
HBSPAGHETTI
Opened with cute curly haired girl opener: “I just want to pour pasta sauce all over your hair and EAT IT, its so fucking cute!” Giggly girl. Disqualified with “gay.” Threatened to marry her and divorce to take her money. Neglected friends, got CB. Later, tried to re-open by engaging the friends. Used “hip check” opener. Didn’t go over well at all. Lost the rapport I had build earlier. Note: with older ladies, avoid openers such as hip-check and rough kino. Question: who should I have opened? When is it ok to approach the target?
HBIMPOSSIBLE
3-set, 2 6’s and a 10. It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to open them because of positioning. Decided on attempting to open the obstacles and ignoring the target. Got blown out with “next day phone call.” Wing opened later, by negging the 10 “multiple times.” Said that his game plan was to open the target directly because obstacles were “sick of guys hitting on their friend,” including hitting on them to get to the friend. “PLOW” he kept saying, but I didn’t have good body language and felt it was hopeless. I’d telegraphed too much interest.
WINGED SET:
Steve opened a seated 2-set. I DHV’d him to the target, then switched seats and spoke with the obstacle, who I thought was pretty cute. She was difficult, turned off. I don’t know exactly how to treat the obstacles all the time, but my objective of keeping her occupied and liking me was successful for him to #close. DHV rock climbing, wing 3, teased a bit. I got some insightful feedback from this girl:
on DHV Rock Climbing: “that’s what you did for her birthday?”
on our conversation: “I don’t believe anything the two of you say.” (!?!)
Also, I decided to try to work on my qualification acting. Asked “so what’s your passion? What do you do for fun?” then looked around the room like there were more interesting things going on. She answered “I like to read a lot.” Turned around a bit serious. “Really?” like she’d just won me over. She felt validated, though was like “why do you seem so surprised?” Next time, I have to remember to release afterward.
Left to get drinks, wing got blown out while I was away but had already closed. Bad intuition for leaving when I did?
______
Let’s discuss some wing strategies or games that can involve us as a group, I have been noticing anxiety building up on occasion when I’m talking to the obstacle for a long period of time.
I’ve been feeling low-energy of late.
Last night, I sarged with my buddy Steve, and got to meet some other PUAs. At a certain point in the evening, I allowed myself to be affected by the outcome of my sarges.
I think the problem comes from expecting a level of success consistent with how I was doing all last week. It’s times like this I have to remember that I can’t hit a home run every time I com e to the plate. In fact, the one characteristic all the greats seem to share is that they bounce right back from slumps and lumps and fight through the “pain period.”
Thoughts on my FRAME:
1) I do my best when I remember that women are an abundance. That is to say, if I keep moving I’m going to find someone who I click with. And if not, it’s no big deal, there’s always another day.
2) Get into the mindset of only rewarding myself for meeting my stated goals. The only thing I should keep in mind is whether or not I’m doing them. Avoid “outcome dependency” at all costs, as it represents many contingencies that are out of my control.
3) Every reaction I get, every response is just feedback telling me how the interaction is going. Many factors are in my control, but many are out of my hands.
4) Be other-oriented. Try to help her and her friends to have a BETTER time than they would have otherwise. Also, don’t reward rudeness.
5) Continue to state goals and plow towards them. Nothing makes me happier than attempting a really hard set. Nothing makes me feel worse than avoiding a set because it looks difficult.
CRITIQUE OF YESTERDAY’S PERFORMANCE:
1) I allowed Approach Anxiety to get the best of me at the beginning of the night with that 2-set. My wing opened them. Next time, don’t hesitate. 3 second rule applies.
2) Have had difficulty allowing myself to plow forward when there is a little bit of turbulence.
3) I made a conscious effort to open some more difficult sets, which is good. Unfortunately I allowed the success of them to dictate my mood later on.
4) Didn’t remember to lock in on the majority of my sets.
5) Remembered disqualification for most of my sets, a small victory therein.
6) Chose targets, negged and teased.
FR: SETS IN BRIEF
HBTALL
Opened a 3-set with INTERNET DATING. Warm reception. Teased the target, tried to make friends with the obstacles. Target had a twin sister. “oh you’re the evil one!” and “geeze don’t you have any of your own friends?” Remembered mild kino, got mild IOI’s in return. Nothing too intense. Later, I re-opened and negged her posture. This was a pretty good neg. She had really high self-esteem, a high-quality HB8.
HBSHORTY
Opened a tall Russian girl with a situational opener. Noticed her very cute Russian friend. Disqualified with “too bad I’m gay or you’d so be my type!” Later, said I was going to marry her, then divorce her for her money. I neglected the obstacle too long, I think she wandered off. Should have clawed, plowed. I asked her to kiss me on the cheek, but she didn’t reciprocate. Next time I’ll know better than to supplicate like that. Hoops for hoops. (I think she probably lost all interest as soon as I kissed her on the cheek). Next time, remember to kino a LOT. Grab her hands, move her around.
HBROCKER
3-set of 30+ ladies. Lots of feisty attitude. Opened with internet dating. Remembered to lock in by sitting down. Never quite “hooked” the set. Asked to leave by alpha female before quite choosing a target. Good vibes despite blow-out.
HBSPAGHETTI
Opened with cute curly haired girl opener: “I just want to pour pasta sauce all over your hair and EAT IT, its so fucking cute!” Giggly girl. Disqualified with “gay.” Threatened to marry her and divorce to take her money. Neglected friends, got CB. Later, tried to re-open by engaging the friends. Used “hip check” opener. Didn’t go over well at all. Lost the rapport I had build earlier. Note: with older ladies, avoid openers such as hip-check and rough kino. Question: who should I have opened? When is it ok to approach the target?
HBIMPOSSIBLE
3-set, 2 6’s and a 10. It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to open them because of positioning. Decided on attempting to open the obstacles and ignoring the target. Got blown out with “next day phone call.” Wing opened later, by negging the 10 “multiple times.” Said that his game plan was to open the target directly because obstacles were “sick of guys hitting on their friend,” including hitting on them to get to the friend. “PLOW” he kept saying, but I didn’t have good body language and felt it was hopeless. I’d telegraphed too much interest.
WINGED SET:
Steve opened a seated 2-set. I DHV’d him to the target, then switched seats and spoke with the obstacle, who I thought was pretty cute. She was difficult, turned off. I don’t know exactly how to treat the obstacles all the time, but my objective of keeping her occupied and liking me was successful for him to #close. DHV rock climbing, wing 3, teased a bit. I got some insightful feedback from this girl:
on DHV Rock Climbing: “that’s what you did for her birthday?”
on our conversation: “I don’t believe anything the two of you say.” (!?!)
Also, I decided to try to work on my qualification acting. Asked “so what’s your passion? What do you do for fun?” then looked around the room like there were more interesting things going on. She answered “I like to read a lot.” Turned around a bit serious. “Really?” like she’d just won me over. She felt validated, though was like “why do you seem so surprised?” Next time, I have to remember to release afterward.
Left to get drinks, wing got blown out while I was away but had already closed. Bad intuition for leaving when I did?
______
Let’s discuss some wing strategies or games that can involve us as a group, I have been noticing anxiety building up on occasion when I’m talking to the obstacle for a long period of time.
Friday, May 25, 2007
An open Journal about pick up
Week of May 20th, 2007
Ok, so this week hasn’t been dynamite so far. I started off with a bang, going sarging on Monday because I couldn’t stop thinking about sarging.
That kind of enthusiasm is generally something good, I say to myself—but Loren and I were with a couple of other wings. I have a hard time winging other guys for the first time because I don’t know them at all, don’t know their habits, don’t know how to properly DHV them, etc. But, I realize its important to not always go out with the same guy every night (which I do). I’d actually rather sarge solo than go out with a different wing most nights (though I’ve never done an entire outing of solo sarging).
On the one hand, I’ve been going out and opening stuff consistently. Oh the other, I don’t feel like I’ve “nailed” anything in the last week. I guess what I mean by “nailed” is “run a set outside of what I would consider “par.”
I have pretty good success opening and hooking sets most of the time, but after that things get sloppy and I tend to just “flow” more.
I’ll call where I’m at right now the “pain period” that Swarzenegger talked about in his weightlifting book. I’m pushing through it, and I see big success on the other side.
In all honesty, I think these are the times when I am really growing and learning the most, because things aren’t happening on auto pilot, and I’m forced to really THINK about what I’m doing from set to set. Luckily, my opening body language is pretty solid, and my canned pieces are usually interesting enough to get me into a conversation with someone, and get them to reveal enough about themselves so I can bust on them and break into their world. Also, I haven’t been noticing shit tests of late, which I think means my frame isn’t taking them seriously. I kind of forgot they existed for a while.
All that said, I still find it tough to open sets early on in the night. Last night my first three sets were done solo (waiting for my wing to show up). First set I opened, then there was an interrupt JUST BEFORE hooking, and I flamed out. Right when I walked out I thought to myself “damn, I could have plowed through that so easy.” Really it seems there are only select few sets where I really have to WORK or get blown out. So I walked to a dark corner of the bar, took out my notepad and wrote down what happened. “Next time, PLOW!” So the next one, I got past the opener, hooked, and had just barely started normal conversation, before excusing myself from the set. What was the matter? Not really anything. The girl was on a faux-date with her male companion. I knew I EASILY could have taken his girl, but I stepped out anyway. Return of the moleskin notebook: “DHV story or game or something, PLOW!”
The third set was at another venue, I opened and won hooked the two girls though none of them were that cute, then to my surprise there was a very cute interrupt who I decided to choose as my target. “Who are you? Ooooh, so you’re THAT girl!” etc. I hooked her pretty easy, I noticed decent IOI’s, and told a couple of stories. She asked at one point “Are you a stand-up comedian or something?” Which I think is a sign that my routines are entertaining. I teased her a bit, told her what I really do and moved on with the conversation. Then, when we were at a high point and I noticed she looked over to find where her friends were at, I wandered off like a little bumblebee who just found another flower to pollenate. I wanted to try a takeaway, so I just opened a set of guys to show her I’m not needy. Later, my wing returned and I re-opened her with “where did you go?” knowing full well she was thinking that about me. “I was wondering the same thing about you!” We continued talking, teased her, I did some playful kino (something I noticed I was missing from this particular set when I did my takeaway), and continued to move forward. At some point I thought to myself “Oh I think it’s time for comfort.”
This is why my game is sloppy in places. I moved on to style’s EV routine, then she ran another type of personality test on me that was like the 4 questions personality test. It was good, worked on me like I was a chick. I # closed her and took off, though I couldn’t remember her name. I could feel that attraction had waned unexpectedly at the last minutes and knew my number would be a flake—although I decided to practice and get it anyway.
So now, I’m trying to focus on ATTRACTION.
Before I can pump attraction I’m going to have to practice DISQUALIFICATION. I.e., I need to be the guy who’s not there to hit on her.
Some disqualifiers off the top of my head:
1. neg
2. you’re just like my little sister!
3. We are NOT going to get along (we’re just too similar).
4. Note to self: do not date this girl.
5. I’m gonna hook you up. Which guy in here do you want me to introduce you to?
6. Too bad I’m gay or you’d so be mine.
7. I LOVE (redheads, Asian girls, short girls, etc.—something she isn’t)
8. Welcome to the ‘friend zone.’
9. You’re such a good friend!
10. let’s just be friends.
11. Don’t touch me, this shit ain’t for free!
12. Why are you so grabby? You’re like a hungry hungry hippo!
13. I’m toxic.
14. Run along now.
15. careful, I’m covered in broken glass. I’ll cut you!
16. I have a friend who you’d be PERFECT for.
Ok, so this week hasn’t been dynamite so far. I started off with a bang, going sarging on Monday because I couldn’t stop thinking about sarging.
That kind of enthusiasm is generally something good, I say to myself—but Loren and I were with a couple of other wings. I have a hard time winging other guys for the first time because I don’t know them at all, don’t know their habits, don’t know how to properly DHV them, etc. But, I realize its important to not always go out with the same guy every night (which I do). I’d actually rather sarge solo than go out with a different wing most nights (though I’ve never done an entire outing of solo sarging).
On the one hand, I’ve been going out and opening stuff consistently. Oh the other, I don’t feel like I’ve “nailed” anything in the last week. I guess what I mean by “nailed” is “run a set outside of what I would consider “par.”
I have pretty good success opening and hooking sets most of the time, but after that things get sloppy and I tend to just “flow” more.
I’ll call where I’m at right now the “pain period” that Swarzenegger talked about in his weightlifting book. I’m pushing through it, and I see big success on the other side.
In all honesty, I think these are the times when I am really growing and learning the most, because things aren’t happening on auto pilot, and I’m forced to really THINK about what I’m doing from set to set. Luckily, my opening body language is pretty solid, and my canned pieces are usually interesting enough to get me into a conversation with someone, and get them to reveal enough about themselves so I can bust on them and break into their world. Also, I haven’t been noticing shit tests of late, which I think means my frame isn’t taking them seriously. I kind of forgot they existed for a while.
All that said, I still find it tough to open sets early on in the night. Last night my first three sets were done solo (waiting for my wing to show up). First set I opened, then there was an interrupt JUST BEFORE hooking, and I flamed out. Right when I walked out I thought to myself “damn, I could have plowed through that so easy.” Really it seems there are only select few sets where I really have to WORK or get blown out. So I walked to a dark corner of the bar, took out my notepad and wrote down what happened. “Next time, PLOW!” So the next one, I got past the opener, hooked, and had just barely started normal conversation, before excusing myself from the set. What was the matter? Not really anything. The girl was on a faux-date with her male companion. I knew I EASILY could have taken his girl, but I stepped out anyway. Return of the moleskin notebook: “DHV story or game or something, PLOW!”
The third set was at another venue, I opened and won hooked the two girls though none of them were that cute, then to my surprise there was a very cute interrupt who I decided to choose as my target. “Who are you? Ooooh, so you’re THAT girl!” etc. I hooked her pretty easy, I noticed decent IOI’s, and told a couple of stories. She asked at one point “Are you a stand-up comedian or something?” Which I think is a sign that my routines are entertaining. I teased her a bit, told her what I really do and moved on with the conversation. Then, when we were at a high point and I noticed she looked over to find where her friends were at, I wandered off like a little bumblebee who just found another flower to pollenate. I wanted to try a takeaway, so I just opened a set of guys to show her I’m not needy. Later, my wing returned and I re-opened her with “where did you go?” knowing full well she was thinking that about me. “I was wondering the same thing about you!” We continued talking, teased her, I did some playful kino (something I noticed I was missing from this particular set when I did my takeaway), and continued to move forward. At some point I thought to myself “Oh I think it’s time for comfort.”
This is why my game is sloppy in places. I moved on to style’s EV routine, then she ran another type of personality test on me that was like the 4 questions personality test. It was good, worked on me like I was a chick. I # closed her and took off, though I couldn’t remember her name. I could feel that attraction had waned unexpectedly at the last minutes and knew my number would be a flake—although I decided to practice and get it anyway.
So now, I’m trying to focus on ATTRACTION.
Before I can pump attraction I’m going to have to practice DISQUALIFICATION. I.e., I need to be the guy who’s not there to hit on her.
Some disqualifiers off the top of my head:
1. neg
2. you’re just like my little sister!
3. We are NOT going to get along (we’re just too similar).
4. Note to self: do not date this girl.
5. I’m gonna hook you up. Which guy in here do you want me to introduce you to?
6. Too bad I’m gay or you’d so be mine.
7. I LOVE (redheads, Asian girls, short girls, etc.—something she isn’t)
8. Welcome to the ‘friend zone.’
9. You’re such a good friend!
10. let’s just be friends.
11. Don’t touch me, this shit ain’t for free!
12. Why are you so grabby? You’re like a hungry hungry hippo!
13. I’m toxic.
14. Run along now.
15. careful, I’m covered in broken glass. I’ll cut you!
16. I have a friend who you’d be PERFECT for.
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