Pain Period

May 26, 2007

I’ve been feeling low-energy of late.

Last night, I sarged with my buddy Steve, and got to meet some other PUAs. At a certain point in the evening, I allowed myself to be affected by the outcome of my sarges.

I think the problem comes from expecting a level of success consistent with how I was doing all last week. It’s times like this I have to remember that I can’t hit a home run every time I com e to the plate. In fact, the one characteristic all the greats seem to share is that they bounce right back from slumps and lumps and fight through the “pain period.”

Thoughts on my FRAME:

1) I do my best when I remember that women are an abundance. That is to say, if I keep moving I’m going to find someone who I click with. And if not, it’s no big deal, there’s always another day.
2) Get into the mindset of only rewarding myself for meeting my stated goals. The only thing I should keep in mind is whether or not I’m doing them. Avoid “outcome dependency” at all costs, as it represents many contingencies that are out of my control.
3) Every reaction I get, every response is just feedback telling me how the interaction is going. Many factors are in my control, but many are out of my hands.
4) Be other-oriented. Try to help her and her friends to have a BETTER time than they would have otherwise. Also, don’t reward rudeness.
5) Continue to state goals and plow towards them. Nothing makes me happier than attempting a really hard set. Nothing makes me feel worse than avoiding a set because it looks difficult.

CRITIQUE OF YESTERDAY’S PERFORMANCE:
1) I allowed Approach Anxiety to get the best of me at the beginning of the night with that 2-set. My wing opened them. Next time, don’t hesitate. 3 second rule applies.
2) Have had difficulty allowing myself to plow forward when there is a little bit of turbulence.
3) I made a conscious effort to open some more difficult sets, which is good. Unfortunately I allowed the success of them to dictate my mood later on.
4) Didn’t remember to lock in on the majority of my sets.
5) Remembered disqualification for most of my sets, a small victory therein.
6) Chose targets, negged and teased.

FR: SETS IN BRIEF
HBTALL
Opened a 3-set with INTERNET DATING. Warm reception. Teased the target, tried to make friends with the obstacles. Target had a twin sister. “oh you’re the evil one!” and “geeze don’t you have any of your own friends?” Remembered mild kino, got mild IOI’s in return. Nothing too intense. Later, I re-opened and negged her posture. This was a pretty good neg. She had really high self-esteem, a high-quality HB8.

HBSHORTY
Opened a tall Russian girl with a situational opener. Noticed her very cute Russian friend. Disqualified with “too bad I’m gay or you’d so be my type!” Later, said I was going to marry her, then divorce her for her money. I neglected the obstacle too long, I think she wandered off. Should have clawed, plowed. I asked her to kiss me on the cheek, but she didn’t reciprocate. Next time I’ll know better than to supplicate like that. Hoops for hoops. (I think she probably lost all interest as soon as I kissed her on the cheek). Next time, remember to kino a LOT. Grab her hands, move her around.

HBROCKER
3-set of 30+ ladies. Lots of feisty attitude. Opened with internet dating. Remembered to lock in by sitting down. Never quite “hooked” the set. Asked to leave by alpha female before quite choosing a target. Good vibes despite blow-out.

HBSPAGHETTI
Opened with cute curly haired girl opener: “I just want to pour pasta sauce all over your hair and EAT IT, its so fucking cute!” Giggly girl. Disqualified with “gay.” Threatened to marry her and divorce to take her money. Neglected friends, got CB. Later, tried to re-open by engaging the friends. Used “hip check” opener. Didn’t go over well at all. Lost the rapport I had build earlier. Note: with older ladies, avoid openers such as hip-check and rough kino. Question: who should I have opened? When is it ok to approach the target?

HBIMPOSSIBLE
3-set, 2 6’s and a 10. It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to open them because of positioning. Decided on attempting to open the obstacles and ignoring the target. Got blown out with “next day phone call.” Wing opened later, by negging the 10 “multiple times.” Said that his game plan was to open the target directly because obstacles were “sick of guys hitting on their friend,” including hitting on them to get to the friend. “PLOW” he kept saying, but I didn’t have good body language and felt it was hopeless. I’d telegraphed too much interest.


WINGED SET:
Steve opened a seated 2-set. I DHV’d him to the target, then switched seats and spoke with the obstacle, who I thought was pretty cute. She was difficult, turned off. I don’t know exactly how to treat the obstacles all the time, but my objective of keeping her occupied and liking me was successful for him to #close. DHV rock climbing, wing 3, teased a bit. I got some insightful feedback from this girl:

on DHV Rock Climbing: “that’s what you did for her birthday?”
on our conversation: “I don’t believe anything the two of you say.” (!?!)

Also, I decided to try to work on my qualification acting. Asked “so what’s your passion? What do you do for fun?” then looked around the room like there were more interesting things going on. She answered “I like to read a lot.” Turned around a bit serious. “Really?” like she’d just won me over. She felt validated, though was like “why do you seem so surprised?” Next time, I have to remember to release afterward.

Left to get drinks, wing got blown out while I was away but had already closed. Bad intuition for leaving when I did?
______


Let’s discuss some wing strategies or games that can involve us as a group, I have been noticing anxiety building up on occasion when I’m talking to the obstacle for a long period of time.